When you are caring for an elderly parent there is often the complication of disagreement between family members about how things should be handled. It is very common for the adult children of older parents to hold differing opinions about how their care should be managed. These conflicts can be constructive if they lead to more effective communication between family members, or they lead to a more unified purpose, or increase the collaboration among family members. These things can come about if people can move from talking about what they want to why they want it. If everyone can begin to discuss what their motivation is, the conversation is more likely to move toward a satisfying solution.

The first step to take in resolving a conflict is to clarify everyone’s position. This includes spelling out not only what they want, but also why they want it. Then you need to discuss everyone’s positions, opinions, and interests thoroughly. Do this with compassion and understanding. Next it is a good idea to look for areas of agreement and write them down. Then identify the areas of disagreement and prioritize them. Begin with smaller issues and see if you can find a way to deal with those. Then move on to resolving bigger issues. Tackling the smaller problems first can demonstrate to everyone that there is a possibility that these issues can be solved, and it can create momentum for coming up with solutions to bigger ones. This process can also build confidence in a family learning to work together to find answers to their problems.

If the disagreement is still not resolved, find a third party to help. This might be a minister, a social worker, a close family friend, etc. They may either be able to facilitate a resolution or they might be able to recommend other resources that the family is unaware of.

A Caring Heart Senior Advisers Vancouver, WA is here to help families with senior housing services.